Now im not one to rant and whine about my love life cause frankly thats too "emo" for my standards and im too "hardcore" like that but tonight im gonna make an exception.
If you wanna read it, by all means do so, but tonight im just gonna let my guts, emotions, feelings, frustrations, out on the table, for you to pick and prod and spit on (or at).
Your comments wont change the outcome of how i think, nor will it change me in general, but id love to hear what your thinking, whether bad or good, clearly doesn't startle me one bit.
About my dearly secretive love life. Iv probably dated, been with, touched.. etc at least 10+ girls, yes i know what your thinking; "player" and yes i was a player back in the day, i didn't respect girls nor did they respect me. I didn't know how to treat ladies and i just didn't care but you see thats what maturity does to you, it obviously gets you mature but it shows you what its like to grow up and respect.
Iv made a lot of bad decisions in my life, a cocky kid coming from Calgary and all.
After having my heart broken at least 20 something times, i realize i don't wanna be the 'bad guy' anymore. I want to start over, cause its been a year and 3 months since i trusted anyone, i mean there is the obvious 'bffs' (which i only have one of) but after a year and 3 months of shutting myself off and isolating myself from everyone, i wanna find someone i can hold hands with and be cute with, yet im followed by this miserable past.
After having your heart broken you learn you don't like it, so you don't do it to other people.
part of me wants to give up on finding the 'one' or something around the lines of it, but part of me wants to search for them, and search.
So here i sit, kinda contemplating whether i should give up or not and wait for them to come to me.
You beat me, your stepped on me, you spit on me, your broke my heart in a billion pieces.
I give up.
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