Was I On Drugs?

A Couple years ago, I broke up with someone that I loved dearly, but she seemed to take my heart and jump on it a few times as if she was in a trampoline competition so the end result wasn’t too pretty. After that incident, I was kinda messed up, my head wasn’t in the right place and my heart just needed comfort but everyone I turned too, I couldn’t seem to trust until I met one female by the name of Samantha L, She resembled your local punk minus all but 2 tattoos and she didn’t have a Mohawk. She liked to drink and she seemed to live around though all that didn’t seem to bother me cause I felt at peace when I was with her, In my own little fucked up way, I felt like my heart had been comforted by this girl. Even though she was 3 years older then me at the time I felt like our ages didn’t matter but perhaps our liking for each other was the most important part.

That relationship didn’t last too long, nor do I even consider it a relationship cause at that time I wasn’t in a good place, so my judgment was way off but of course I would have took anyone at that moment to hold my heart. What I didn’t know was that no one could fix me but I had to fix me and part of me is glad I went threw that weird whole ordeal cause If I didn’t, I would probably be still messed up and still trying to find myself.

To be honest thinking of that ordeal kinda makes me a little sick, like the puke is in the back of my throat ready to spew out like a water fountain and If anything I regret ever even considering liking her or rather being interested in the idea of her, not saying she is or was interesting but I was vulnerable at that time and I guess at the end of the day whether she misused my trust or I mistakenly thought I liked her, I got the better end of the stick cause as we speak she is tending to her child whom she had with a 40 something year old man and that’s not a happy life.

I don’t mean to bash her by all means but even the idea of ever liking her, showed me that, that’s a life I never want again. I guess all in all, I win this time and so does her 40 something boyfriend.

VIA: S&SS